Yesterday was Festivus, the non-commercialized holiday depicted on the sitcom, Seinfeld. One of the practices of Festivus is the "airing of grievances," an act which takes place after the Festivus dinner and allows participants to express how they've been disappointed in the past year.
I had the best of intentions of getting this post ready and set to publish before I left to go out of town on Wednesday, but... What's that old saying about the best laid plans of mice and men? Even though Festivus is over, I'm not going to waste a perfectly good post that was almost finished (especially considering the blogging drought I've been in as of late). So, as Frank Constanza would say,
Here are some of the grievances I need to air before the merriment of Christmas commences:
Oh, Holy Moly! Whoever had the bright idea to add glitter to Christmas cards should be shot! Sure, the cards look all sparkly and festive, but, as I can attest to, it's all sparkly and festive until someone (me) gets glitter in their eye - which hurts like a mother! And, let's not forget that there will now be glitter on my clothes, on my floor, on my sofa, in my bed, in my car, on my person, and probably up my hoo-ha until June of next year.
Weight Loss Nay Sayers
I've been actively losing weight since August 1, but I've had several people say to me within the last 2-3 weeks, "Why did you decide to start this diet thing right before the holidays? You know how hard this is going to be? You might as well just forget about losing any more weight until after the new year."
Yes, I've had people say that to me.
The first time I responded, I was nice and polite, explaining that this wasn't a recent whim I decided to jump on and that I actually started this diet thing back in the summer. By the third time, I had lost all patience and just started telling people, "Oh, I don't know... I thought it would be so much fun to stare temptation in the freakin' face everyday for three weeks!" C'mon, people!
PSA: People who are on a weight loss adventure (I prefer the word adventure to journey) don't need your negativity! Losing weight is hard enough as it is. This is a prime example of when it's best to be kind and remember what your mother told ya (or should've told ya) - if you can't say something nice, good, or positive, then just be quiet.
PSA: People who are on a weight loss adventure (I prefer the word adventure to journey) don't need your negativity! Losing weight is hard enough as it is. This is a prime example of when it's best to be kind and remember what your mother told ya (or should've told ya) - if you can't say something nice, good, or positive, then just be quiet.
Holiday Food Pushers
Fortunately, I've only had a few of these people cross my path this holiday season.
Oh. Good. Lord. Here's the thing, I have indulged in some holiday goodies, but I've been very selective about which goodies are worth indulging in. Some of the crap that people have tried to push down my throat... Nope, not worth it. Go away, people, and let me eat my one Oreo ball in peace.
Kids Who Don't Say Thank You
Just have one.
One won't kill ya.
But these are sooooo good, you must try them.
Just a little cheat...
Oh. Good. Lord. Here's the thing, I have indulged in some holiday goodies, but I've been very selective about which goodies are worth indulging in. Some of the crap that people have tried to push down my throat... Nope, not worth it. Go away, people, and let me eat my one Oreo ball in peace.
Kids Who Don't Say Thank You
I have 55 kids on my caseload. So, one evening after work during the week before break, I went out and bought enough candy, pencils, and erasers to make holiday goodie bags for my students. I then assembled 55 goodie bags.
A kind estimate is that 25% of them said thank you automatically when I gave them their bag. One kid even had the audacity to ask for another one!
But, I can report that 100% of them said thank you before they left my room with that treat bag and that one overly-presumptuous kid learned a little lesson that day about being grateful.
Thank you is such an easy little phrase to say, even if you have a speech impairment like many of my kids do. I've been doing this long enough to know that "fank you" means thank you. Teach your children to be grateful. Teach your children to be appreciative. Teach your children that manners matter.
Alright! I feel MUCH BETTER now having gotten those things off my chest. I know Festivus is over, but do you have any grievances to air before the big, jolly man comes tonight?
Happy Late Festivus and Happy Christmas Eve! As always, thanks for stopping by.
A kind estimate is that 25% of them said thank you automatically when I gave them their bag. One kid even had the audacity to ask for another one!
But, I can report that 100% of them said thank you before they left my room with that treat bag and that one overly-presumptuous kid learned a little lesson that day about being grateful.
Thank you is such an easy little phrase to say, even if you have a speech impairment like many of my kids do. I've been doing this long enough to know that "fank you" means thank you. Teach your children to be grateful. Teach your children to be appreciative. Teach your children that manners matter.
Alright! I feel MUCH BETTER now having gotten those things off my chest. I know Festivus is over, but do you have any grievances to air before the big, jolly man comes tonight?
Happy Late Festivus and Happy Christmas Eve! As always, thanks for stopping by.
How can there be 55 kids with a speech impairment at one school? Is there something in the water in Kentucky?
ReplyDeleteLOL! That's just my K-5 caseload. I have 62 including my preschoolers! Yeah, my numbers are a bit above the standard 10% rule (that 10% of a school's enrollment will probably be in speech therapy). I like to think that my faculty is just really good at referring kids my way and we don't overlook many kids.
Deleteugh those weight loss negative bishes...they can all suck it. that used to happen to me ALL THE TIME and i'd just tell them: listen - why don't you just keep your negativity to yourself??!?
ReplyDeleteI gave my students books for Christmas...they asked for more than one each and felt no shame in that.
ReplyDeleteI got a few gifts from them and, no matter how small it was, I wrote a thank you note to each kid who gave me a gift. They were flabbergasted because they'd never gotten a thank you card before. (I consider this my legacy to humanity...I've been writing thank you cards to kids for years now).
The freaking glitter.
ReplyDeleteShall I tell you what's worse than glitter on cards? Glitter on Christmas crackers! Trust me. I'm only just catching up on posts but if I was listing my complaints that would be top of my list.
ReplyDelete